


Ohana

by ShariDeschain



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alfred is a criminal mastermind, Brotherly Bonding, Bruce Wayne is a Good Dad, Family Fluff, Gen, Minor Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10753629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShariDeschain/pseuds/ShariDeschain
Summary: Fights with Alfred are one of those things you know how they start but not how they’re gonna end.





	Ohana

Fights with Alfred are one of those things you know how they start but not how they’re gonna end.

And Jason should’ve known better - he knows he should have - but sometimes pride and anger still get the better hand on his common sense and yeah, that’s how he ends up in situations like this one.

-

It starts with Red Robin comfortably perched on Jason’s kitchen top, legs dangling above the ground, a lasagna casserole sitting on his lap. He dips a fork into it and waves at him with his other hand as Jason opens up the apartment’s door.

“Hi.”

Jason sighs.

“What are you doing here and how do you even know about this place? I moved in like, yesterday. Literally.”

Tim smiles around a mouthful of lasagna and chews it carefully before even bothering to give him one of his not-answers.

“I was in the neighborhood and I brought you food. Alfred sent me three of these things yesterday but even post-patrol hunger has its limits, you know?”

Jason stares at him, waiting for him to continue with a _besides..._ and then ask for a favor, because that’s how things usually work with these people, but Tim’s interest seems to be strictly limited to the food. And it’s not a superficial interest either.

“If you brought it to me then why the hell are _you_ eating it?”, Jason asks eventually, watching his brother taking another enthusiastic bite. Almost half of the lasagna is already gone and he has to wonder how the hell that kid can be so lithe if he eats like that.

Tim only shrugs at him.

“Post-patrol hunger, I guess. It has limits but I’m good at pushing ‘em”, he answers. “Hey, do you have beer?”

“Hey, aren’t you seventeen?”, Jason retorts in a scoff, but he’s already moving towards the fridge because unlike someone else he’s not a goddamn hypocrite.

Again, the only answers he gets from his brother is a shrug, so Jason drags a stool closer to the sink and Tim trades him the beer with a fork. 

They finish the whole lasagna and a six pack of beer and Jason discovers that a drunk Tim is definitely his favorite Tim.

-

It continues with nothing less than Robin politely knocking at his door. And the biggest shock there is the fact that the kid took the trouble to actually _knock_ instead of, say, kicking down the door or barge in the room through the window.

Anyhow, Jason’s really surprised to find Damian on his doorstep. It’s been a while since the last time he saw him, and in addition to apparently having learned some good manners, the brat is actually a little bit taller than Jason remembers. 

Like, jeez.

“Hey squirt”, Jason greets him. “What are you doing here?”

Damian clicks his tongue, pushes a garment bag against Jason’s chest and welcomes himself into the apartment.

“I believe you left it at the Manor”, he explains, dropping on the floor a backpack Jason didn’t notice before and plopping down on the couch. “Pennyworth mistakenly sent it over to me at the Titan’s tower.”

Jason pulls down the bag’s zip to find himself staring at one of his oldest leather jacket. He’d honestly thought Roy had stolen it years ago.

“And you brought it back to me because…?”, he asks suspiciously.

Damian shrugs, leans back against the couch cushions and rests his feet on the living room table.

“I was on my way back home anyway.”

He doesn’t sound particularly happy about it, and Jason doesn’t need to ask why. When children grow up they start seeing their parents in a new light, and fathers in particular tend to lose rather quickly the hero status in their sons’ eyes. Even if they happen to be the Batman, yes. It’s an old, sad story, and Jason has no interest in reliving it.

So he takes another glance at his newfound jacket instead, and that’s when he notices a wrinkle that he knows Alfred would’ve never allowed to exist. He smiles.

“Did you try it on?”

Damian glares at him almost indignantly.

“That hideous thing? Tt. As if I would ever wear something like that.”

But the tips of his ears are pink and he’s way too quick to respond, so Jason has to stifle a laugh at the obvious lie.

“Pity”, he answers with his utmost serious tone while he sits down besides his little brother. “I was gonna say that you could have it if you liked it.”

Damian looks up and blinks at him.

“Really?”, he asks, eyes wide with surprise.

“Sure. As soon as you get big enough to fill it anyway”, Jason smirks again and reaches out to tousle the kid’s hair. 

Damian scowls at his teasing and swats his hand away.

“Then one day in the _nearest_ future I’ll hold you to your word, Todd. You know I will”, he warns him.

And yes, Jason knows Damian will. But overall, it’s really not an unpleasant day to wait for.

-

It ends with Bruce - _Bruce_ , not even Batman - gingerly leaning against Jason’s bike, not quite sitting on it because, well, it’s Bruce and he probably thinks he doesn’t have the right to push their boundaries so much (and Jason would really, really like for his siblings to think more like that, but it’s a lost hope and he knows it).

Bruce has a book in his hands and Jason snaps at him the moment he sees it.

“You know what? I get it, okay? I fucking get it. You can go back to your goddamn butler and tell him that he wins. I got it. Just tell him to stop this shit.”

To give credits where credits are due, Bruce stays unflappable through Jason’s entire rant.

“I reckon you two had a bet?”, he asks, after clearing his throat in the vain attempt to conceal his amusement.

“A fight”, Jason corrects begrudgingly.

“He never mentioned it to me”, Bruce says. His tone implies that he won’t despise to have some more information on the whole affair but he’s not going to ask directly and Jason’s not going to offer anything else.

“Yeah, he’s subtle like that”, he only huffs.

Bruce gracefully accepts his non-answer and starts to toy with the book in his hands.

“He said he found it in your room”, he offers after a moment of awkward silence. “I thought you might want it back.”

“Actually, it’s yours”, Jason admits, scratching the side of his head. “I took it from the library last time I had to stay over in the med bay.”

Unlike his sons, Bruce is not one to answer with a shrug, but he has the uncanny ability to channel the same exact sentiment in a glance. He turns to put the book down on the saddle of the bike and then he looks back at Jason again.

“It’s the first of a series”, he adds. “I found the second one much better.”

Translated it means something along the line of “you’re welcome to come home and use the library anytime you want”. Jason finds himself grateful for the implicitness of the invitation.

“Yeah, well”, he answers hesitantly. “I guess I’ll let you know if you’re right or not.”

Bruce smiles his usual half smile and straightens himself up.

“Good”, he says, and then he gives Jason’s shoulder a light squeeze before walking back to his own car.

Watching his father walk away Jason realizes he didn’t even have the time to make a comment about how stupid it is to come across an entire city just to return a stolen book that was abandoned months ago.

-

The phone rings exactly three times before a polite and very familiar voice answers, and Jason is ready to bet the pension he’ll never have that somehow Alfred already knows it’s him calling.

“You sent me over both the kids and Bruce. You play dirty, you old son of a gentleman”, he accuses him, skipping the pleasantries altogether.

Alfred’s voice is as stoic as ever when he answers.

“Nice to hear from you, Master Jason. And you may have noticed that I never _sent_ anyone anywhere. My understanding is that they came to you out of their own free will.”

“Semantic”, Jason scoffs into the phone. “You concocted the whole thing and used them as your own personal pawns. Does Batman know that he lives under the same roof with a criminal mastermind?”

“If he’s not aware of it after all these years I’ll have to personally revoke his title of _world’s greatest detective_ ”, there’s the faintest trace of amusement in Alfred’s words and Jason smiles too despite himself.

“You know, just because these days I happen to be on good terms with that flock of yours it doesn’t mean-”

“You are a part of the family, Jason”, Alfred sternly - but not unkindly - cuts him off. “And if you still can’t see it I’ll have to revoke your _smartass_ status too.”

“Did you just-”

“Perhaps you need reassurance from the rest of the family too. Master Richard should come visit in a few days. I’ll have him know that-”

“No”, Jason groans. “Please don’t. Not Dick.”

“Very well”, Alfred agrees, obviously pleased with Jason’s distress. “I believe we reached an understanding then.”

“You’re a very horrible person, Alfred.”

“That would be darwinism for you, Master Jason. I’ll be expecting you for lunch this sunday then?”

“I’ll show up”, Jason confirms reluctantly. It was how this whole thing started, a week or so ago. One too many lunch refusal can be the undoing of a man, apparently. “But I won’t be polite just for the sake of it.”

“Of course. All I expect you to be is the best person you can be”, Alfred rebuts serenely.

“Oh my god”, Jason moans, covering his eyes with a hand. “Alright, I’m ending this call right now. I’m a semi-good person, I don’t deserve this.”

He can hear the fond smile in Alfred’s voice even in the split of a moment it takes for him to close the call.

“Of course you deserve it, Jason. Of course you do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt meme on tumblr. Prompt was [“You’re apart of the family” with Alfred & Jason](https://unavenged-robin.tumblr.com/post/160090228218/youre-apart-of-the-family-alfred-and-jason).


End file.
